10 Commandments of Trick or Treat

(A Requested Re-post)
I do not like Halloween. There, I admit it – so sue me! That said, I have kids – Trick or Treat participation is NOT optional. Hubby, God love him, is the Designated Chaperon, hanging the required 20 paces behind, Maglite in hand as the gaggle of sugar seekers beg our neighbors for repeat dental visits. I oversee home distribution duties, and to offset the holiday hatred, I long ago developed a sliding scale for candy generosity; the time has come to share.
  1. Thou shalt wear a costume – A baseball hat does not make you Derek Jeter = Bite Size Baby Ruth.
  2. Honor thy doorbell etiquette – Once, is enough. Repeat ringgers =  Bite Size Dots.
  3. Thou shalt be age appropriate – If you have facial hair, stay home  = Raisins.
  4. Honor thy common sense – 6 yr. old children should not look like adult film stars = Smarties.
  5. Thou shalt be spooky – Be scary! Witches, zombies, vampires = Full Size Twix!
  6. Honor thy safety – Carry a flashlight and wear bright clothes = Reese’s!
  7. Thou shalt be polite – If you say “Trick or Treat”  = Milky Way! (Thank you=2 )
  8. Thou shalt TAKE ONE! – Reach into the Trough-o-Candy politely = Full Size Snickers.
  9. Honor thy hour – After 9 (and that’s pushing) go home! Before 8 =  Peppermint Patty!
  10. Thou shalt STOP Trick or Treating when candy bag requires forklift! You’re done, go home, count your loot, eat the permitted one piece and sneak 4 more when Mom is not looking – you know you will! Happy Halloween!

5 comments on “10 Commandments of Trick or Treat

  1. Jane Sadek says:

    One of the best things about my childless state is the ability to ignore Halloween. When darkness approaches we go to some swanky restaurant that isn’t decorated with goblins and stay there until it’s safe to go home.

  2. hooray, hooray, hooray!! I LOVED this post the first time I saw it and I love it even more now!! At my house it’s: AFTER 8pm, DEAD MUTANT NINJA TURTLE ON THE DOORSTEP!

  3. […] More Halloween Posts from Candid Kathryn […]

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