It’s that time of year again – turkey, stuffing, and the inevitable fashion plummet into yoga pants and retired maternity tops. Holiday menus, delicious as they are, bend my iron will like a cheap sheet of tinfoil, and with the first bite of mashed potatoes, I’m a helpless, gravy seeking Oliver Twist on the Buffet Line of Overindulgence!
However, this year, THIS YEAR is different, and to ensure the safety of my new jeans, I am implementing…
GRP: Gluttony Resistance Plan
Use A Smaller Plate: Yes, Aunt Betty may resent the request for a tea saucer in place of her mother’s satellite dish size china – but she’ll live, and you’ll eat sensibly.
Resist Mounding: Mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce – the higher the mound, the higher the scale, and planting your flag at the summit of Mt. Side Dish only leads to a search party of cardiologists.
Say No To Seconds: The meal was fantastic, but the leftovers will be there tomorrow. Quit while you are ahead, reflux ruins a good turkey coma.
Pie Portion Control: “I’ll just have a tiny sliver of everything.” LIAR! Be honest, what you’re really thinking is :“I’m going to fill my plate with fat and sugar, steal a can of whip cream, and disappear into the garage where I can eat my shame in private.” One piece, Fatty Pants! No more!
Have another suggestion? Please share! Gluttony loves company. (Is that right?)