Glutton for Embellishment

It’s that time of year again – turkey, stuffing, and the inevitable fashion plummet into yoga pants and retired maternity tops. Holiday menus, delicious as they are, bend my iron will like a cheap sheet of tinfoil, and with the first bite of mashed potatoes, I’m a helpless, gravy seeking Oliver Twist on the Buffet Line of Overindulgence!

However, this year, THIS YEAR is different, and to ensure the safety of my new jeans, I am implementing…

GRP: Gluttony Resistance Plan

Appetizer Avoidance: Cheese and crackers are the opening act on the Holiday Calorie Tour. Don’t fill up on REO Speedwagon when the Stones are getting browned and basted.

Use A Smaller Plate: Yes, Aunt Betty may resent the request for a tea saucer in place of her mother’s satellite dish size china – but she’ll live, and you’ll eat sensibly.

Resist Mounding: Mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce – the higher the mound, the higher the scale, and planting your flag at the summit of Mt. Side Dish only leads to a search party of cardiologists.

Say No To Seconds:  The meal was fantastic, but the leftovers will be there tomorrow. Quit while you are ahead, reflux ruins a good turkey coma.

Pie Portion Control: “I’ll just have a tiny sliver of everything.” LIAR! Be honest, what you’re really thinking is :“I’m going to fill my plate with fat and sugar, steal a can of whip cream, and disappear into the garage where I can eat my shame in private.” One piece, Fatty Pants! No more!

Have another suggestion? Please share! Gluttony loves company. (Is that right?)

Happy Thanksgiving!

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2 comments on “Glutton for Embellishment

  1. Jane Sadek says:

    Good plan. I’m lucky. I enjoy the holiday, but call me un-American or not, there’s other things I’d rather eat. The only thing that really tempts me to go crazy are hot yeast rolls. I’d be happy to pile my plate up with about a dozen of those and forego everything else.

  2. Hi Jane! I’m a sucker for good breads, a carb-aholic to the core! Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂

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