Top 10 Holiday Hookers!

Writers everywhere lament over the perfect hook for their novel; that magic one sentence morsel that grabs a reader’s attention and drags them into the story, hungry for more.

Last night, ankle-deep in Christmas wrapping, I had a great idea for today’s blog! OK, great is stretching it; deranged is more like it.

Here’s a little holiday fun for my faithful readers, all six of you. Ten twisted holiday-hooks, character names omitted, for classic Christmas movies & TV, see if you can guess the titles and I’ll post the answers next week.

  1. Saddled with inept employees and poor nightwear choices, a penny-pinching tycoon comes to grips with shortcomings through a series of nog-induced hallucinations. (A Christmas Carol)

  2. Green with envy, the village nomad’s rampant breaking and entering spree leaves the inbred townspeople to cry, in harmony, for help – who will save the day? (The Grinch)

  3. When a young boy’s fascination with trains causes him to throw caution to the wind and jump aboard a North bound rail in the middle of the night, it’s up to group of misfit travelers and a bosom buddy of a conductor to deliver him to reality. (The Polar Express)

  4. Bullied by his self-righteous dog, an encephalitis plagued boy searches for the true meaning of Christmas with his blanket toting androgynous friend. (A Charlie Brown Christmas)

  5. A young girl’s refusal to sleep on Christmas Eve leaves her mother no choice but to slip the obstinate child a magic nut; nightmares of dancing rodents ensue. (The Nutcracker)

  6. Obligated to go into the family’s successful business, a young banker marries a pretty girl, has three great kids, buys a big house, and still gripes to anyone who will listen; it takes an angel to ring some sense into him. (It’s a Wonderful Life)

  7. Unemployed and ostracized by his father, a nasal-challenged reindeer forced to take odd work as a dentist’s bodyguard works his way up the career ladder to sled leader. (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

  8. Overweight and prone to melting down in high-pressure situations, a coal-eyed visitor to a small town convinces unsuspecting children to follow him to isolated areas of the forest claiming know Santa’s whereabouts. (Frosty the Snowman)

  9. Abandoned by his hippie mother and raised by diminutive toy makers, a giant of a man sets off in search of his father in the Big Apple only to find a full size family he never knew existed. (Elf)

  10. In a family of visiting rednecks and near deaf in-laws, will one man’s love of illumination be enough to save Christmas, or will it take a rabies laced spruce tree stowaway to brighten holiday spirits? (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation)

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good write!

xmas tree 2013


2 comments on “Top 10 Holiday Hookers!

  1. I think I got most of them. Still working on a couple.

    Y’all are really, really weird. But, on the other hand, you should see my alternative Christmas Carols…such as…

    “Up on the housetop, reindeer pause,
    oh, dear God, it’s Santa Claus!
    landing in a sleigh with runners bowed,
    way over our roof’s rated load.
    Ho, ho, ho, there the rafters go,
    Ho, ho, ho, look out below!
    Right through the housetop,
    quick, quick, quick,
    and through to the cellar
    falls good St. Nick.”

    Merry Christmas!

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