Mr. Myth Goes To Washington

Remember the good ol’ days when people running for office gave a damn about the American people? Yeah, those were fun times; nothing like today’s circus. Of course those elections weren’t perfect; it’s tough staying ahead in the polls when your campaign manager’s yellow fever spreads to the press pool and the tour posse throws a shoe mid-Oregon Trail.

Full disclosure – I’ve dabbled in politics, never as a candidate because masochism isn’t my gig, but I’ve contributed on a grassroots level to campaigns connecting with my inner voice. (Truth: Inner Voice should shut up and avoid Vegas – picks dogs.) Through these lessons in futility, I’ve gained a unique perspective on the 2016 presidential race, an overall sense of where the country is heading and how we’ll arrive – maybe a visual will help.

Iceberg

I’m trying to be optimistic, really, I am, in fact I’ve made conscious efforts to tune-out (unfollow/block/swat-away-carrier-pigeons) negative publicity, but let’s get real here – social media casts a wide net and we’re a helpless bunch of Nemo-like chum trapped in the webbing; one more email from the DNC and someone is getting the CRAP opted-out of them!

Then there’s the media – treading lightly here because I occasionally wear a press pass, but COME ON! Depending on the network, the slant is so steep toward one party, not even Bear Grylls with Batman’s grappling hook can stop the broadcast from spiraling downhill into the biased sludge pit. Disgusting – truly.

And folks, we’re just getting started; it’s going to be a long year of desperate politicians courting voters by whatever means necessary; I liken it to Tinder for fictional characters – Snow Rightwing will kiss a lot of fools before she wakes up with a prince, or herpes – anyone’s guess.

snow white

I’m not asking for a miracle, I don’t expect Jimmy Stewart’s Mr. Smith to revisit Washington and give voice to the millions of citizens still in possession of common sense and love of country – that ship sailed, or sank depending on your euphemism of choice.  All I want is an honest, non-media pandering problem solver, capable of abiding by constitutional law while not being an asshole. (Sorry Mom, asshole is the only term that works here.)

Now, where are you Mr/Madam President? Because as of today – you sure as hell aren’t running.

 

Credits: giphy.com, IMDb.com, Disney.com, Marvel.com

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